Death, which signifies the loss of both biological and conscious function, is an inescapable aspect of life. It may cause sadness, but it may also prompt thought and acceptance. Although the way we treat death can differ greatly between communities, it is eventually a universal event that affects us all.
In Hindu tradition, funerals and death are deeply valued and are seen as essential elements of the life-and-death cycle. Hinduism holds to the idea that after death, a person's soul reincarnates in a new body. Funeral rites and rituals are thought to aid the deceased's spirit in making a smooth transition to the afterlife.
Hindu funerals in India adhere to a complex collection of rites and traditions that vary by region and community. However, common practices are observed all around the nation. Under the direction of a priest or other knowledgeable individual, the family and close relatives of the deceased carry out these ceremonies.
The usual or basic process of the funeral takes place like this in northern parts of India: Preparing the body for cremation is the first ritual. Before being transported to the cremation site, the body is typically cleansed and dressed in fresh clothing. The face is left exposed, while the body is wrapped in a white garment. It is said that the deceased's spirit will recognize the body and depart gently.
The body is next taken to the cremation site. The deceased's family and close relatives frequently accompany the procession, which is usually carried out on a wooden stretcher. Traditional funeral music may be played by musicians to accompany the procession. The funeral pyre is lit once the body is transported to the cremation site.
The funeral pyre is typically lit by the deceased's eldest son or male heir.
While the family and close relatives of the dead express their sorrow, the priest prays and conducts the last rites. The mourners may alternately provide wood and ghee (clarified butter) to the fire during the cremation process. This is done to make sure the fire burns brightly and thoroughly consumes the body. A sacred river or the sea is used to submerge the body's ashes once the body has been reduced to ashes. This is thought to aid the deceased person's soul in achieving Moksha, or freedom from the cycle of birth and death.
Following the cremation, the deceased's family and close relatives observe a time of mourning that typically lasts for thirteen days. They abstain from eating anything that isn't vegetarian during this time, and they stay away from all celebrations and festivals. Also, the friends, family, and acquaintances of the deceased send their condolences to their family members and close relatives.
The deceased's family and close relatives carry out a rite known as "Shraddha" on the thirteenth day. Offerings are made to the deceased person's ancestors during this event. The deceased's family and close relatives give food and water to the ancestors and ask for their blessings so that the family would be happy and healthy.
Death is such a negative experience or a time period that a family or loved ones go through when a person dies. My family just experienced a difficult moment when my aunt, who was 36 years old, passed away from cancer. While it was a moment where everyone was grieving, I just had questions regarding the rituals performed during the funeral. I looked up the processes online and the description above was what I found, I also asked one of my neighbors, who is a North Indian, if what the process above that was stated was how funerals on their side are performed, they confirmed that it indeed was.
However, the rituals performed at my aunt’s funeral were completely different. We only had a few rituals in common with the North Indians.
I decided to have a conversation with my mother’s aunt to find out and understand more about our culture and our way of performing rituals as it really piqued my interest and made me wonder about the reason behind doing all of this? Does this really help the dead or is it just human beings’ way of prolonging the inevitable moment of burying or burning the body and letting go of them?
KS, a sixty year old woman is my mother’s aunt, who performs all the rituals during funerals in the family. She has been doing this for the past twenty years now. She was confused at first when I asked her to teach me about funerals because who would want to talk about sad events ,right? Nonetheless, she agreed after a few days. From my observations and my conversations, I found out about the following things :
The deceased person's body is brought to the house and laid on a cot outside if they passed away at a hospital or somewhere out of the house, if not then the body is removed from inside the house and placed at the entrance or in the courtyard. Kumkum and harshana are applied to their foreheads after wiping down the body using a wet cloth. A brass jar is set on the fire by using wood logs outside the home, signifying that there has been a death in the house.
Diyas and agarbatti are also lit outside to pray for their soul. It is important not to let the diya get extinguished till the body is buried as it is considered a bad sign.
We go around to the homes of our neighbours to let them know that someone has died so they can let other people know and come see the body if they have not seen the fire lit outside, the news is later spread by them to far relatives.
People then congregate, decorate the body with flowers, and offer prayers for the soul's upcoming departure from its old body. It is a bittersweet moment when all the family, friends, and coworkers who have heard about the person come to visit them. They stay there and remember all the wonderful times they have shared with them throughout the years they have known them.
A music band is called, and they play till the burial of the body. They are called so that everyone in the area will hear them. The body is taken around the area one last time before the funeral while the band plays music in front of the moving van. It is like showing the body its home and area one last time as they will never be able to see it again so it's a farewell.
"Are there any time periods that are taken into consideration while deciding when to cremate the body?"
"Yes ,there are various time periods in a day and funerals are not held during the Raahu Kala and Yamaganda Kala because it is seen as a negative time of day and no positive deeds or things they don't want repeated are done or performed during that time. A time period, whether good or evil, begins at six in the morning and lasts until six in the evening. As Raahu Kala typically starts at 12 p.m. and ends at 3 p.m. on weekdays and starts at 4:30 p.m. on weekends and ends at 8p.m., funerals are held either before or after the Raahu Kala."
We wait until there is an hour left for the Raahu Kala to end because until then, everyone comes to pay their respects, to spend their final moments with the deceased person, and the body is almost completely covered with flowers.
With only one hour remaining, we begin taking off all the flowers that had been placed, and we set up something similar to a makeshift wash booth using lungis so that we can bathe the body in the water. After the bath, the individual is made to sit on a bamboo chair and made to wear new clothing that the elders in the family give.
The next ritual that is performed is a reenactment of a marriage. If the person is already married, their spouse is made to sit next to them while we reenact their wedding by making them either tie a makeshift mangalsuthra, singing the song sung during the time of tying a knot during a wedding and throwing rice on the couple. This is done because it will be the final time they can be together as a married couple, making it a big farewell. Everyone who attended the service makes their way forward to bless the pair.
If the person was a bachelor, then the person is married to a doll. The wedding is performed on the doll and the deceased person.
“Why is this performed? This ritual was actually the reason I got intrigued about this function and wanted to find out more about funeral rituals as this is very unusual and I found it a bit inappropriate for a funeral setting.”
“This is performed because it is important for a human to fulfill all the aspects of life and marriage is one of the biggest things a person has to experience and go through in order for their life to be complete. The people who are present bless the person by throwing rice at them and praying that they live a better life in their next. I understand why it may seem insensitive but it is an old tradition so that the body has some sort of a companion in their last moments. For the bachelors, the doll is buried / cremated with the person as it is a part of them. For the married couple it is like making them relive their marriage for one last time so that they both recognize this is the end and they will have to go on with their life / journey by themselves after this.”
The bamboo chair is then placed in a van. We go around the area and show the person their current residential area for the very last time. The parents if the person is a bachelor or the spouse if the person was married, are supposed to dance in front of the moving vehicle till the funeral grounds, they are supposed to dance because they need to send the person off in a happy mood so that their soul doesn’t linger around once it separates from the body.
"What happens at the grounds? Please tell me more as I was not allowed to go there."
"It is the last time we will be seeing the person so we do a pooja for them and then chant some prayers. The body is either burnt or buried, it depends on which side of the family the person belongs to and the traditions that are followed. So if we are burning them, we stack wood on their body and the son is made to do pooja and then he has to light the body by pouring oil on the wood stack and then setting it on fire. If we are burying the body, all the men in the family carry the bamboo chair to the hole which is dug and place the body in it. Pooja is performed and then the men cover the body with soil."
Everyone returns home and starts cleaning every inch of the house before eleven days are over, because on the eleventh day, a ceremony for the deceased is held to give them peace and to release them from this life of theirs. We consider ourselves unclean and so the whole house is purified by cleaning it thoroughly. We are also not allowed to cook at home during this period so our relatives have to make food and bring it to us.
The eleventh day ceremony is a grand one as everyone attends it . A pooja takes place with a pandit doing all the purifying rituals and helps with releasing the soul. We also prepare a non-vegetarian meal consisting of all the favorites of the deceased and keep it in front of their picture, we leave the room for five minutes in the belief that the soul will come and eat the food placed on the banana leaf after which everyone has their meals and disperse.
"How did you start performing these rituals? It is not very common to have women performing these things usually."
"Well, it mostly started because when my parents died, none of my brothers knew what to do, and we did not really have close family to help us navigate through that. I had always been very observant during all these events so that's when I stepped up and performed everything and it just continued that way. People in our family really don't mind who performs the rituals as long as the person knows what they are doing and are alright with performing these things. I like that I am the one doing these, it makes me feel important and useful for the family.
It isn't a common thing outside our family and it really is a shame as it in a way helps us grieve and get closure and strength to move on with our lives. We, women are the ones who stay at home and so we just get more attached to our family members. Performing these rituals really benefits us more as our grieving period is usually longer. Of course this does not mean that men don’t or can‘t have a longer grieving period, it is just that we are left behind at home with nothing to distract ourselves with and get caught up in the memories of the past."
These are all the important things that take place during a funeral and as we can see there are quite a few different things between the Vokaligga community and the north side of Indians performing these funeral rituals. The practices are also very interesting to think about as I still wonder how our ancestors came up with these practices and how it really has been passed down with each generation.
Written by
Sambhrama P Girish.
